A Real Kinda Love?
by Mystic-sorceress
Summary: What's turning out to be an extremely long fic. Basically the start of something between Tonks and Lucius
1. The fleeting glimpse

Chapter One  
  
"Sirius!" Harry yelled, "NO!!" Lupin held Harry as he struggled to follow Sirius.  
  
"It's too late, he's gone," whispered Lupin.  
  
"No, he can't be."  
  
"He is, Harry," sobbed Tonks. She bowed her head as the tears fell uncontrollably; the death eater that she had been fighting had escaped as soon as Dumbledore had entered the room. "My dear, sweet cousin, gone, forever." Anger made her voice tremble, and she looked up, fury kindling a strange fire in her eyes. Their gaze fell upon someone across the room. Lucius Malfoy.  
  
He looked up and they made eye contact. It felt like he was falling into an endless pit of flames, and the rage flaring in the depths struck a felling inside of him. She was about to avenge Sirius, he realized. He looked around the room, her gaze stayed, immobile, locked on him. He stood in a stance, wand poised, waiting for the oncoming attack.  
  
It didn't happen. Tonks collected herself together, turned, then uttered the death spell, her voice reserved but commanding. A flash of green light erupted from her wand, aimed at, not Lucius, but Bellatrix Lestrange. She fell with a strangled cry, the look of triumph at having vanquished Sirius remnant on her still face. Tonks grabbed Harry, shouted a counter jynx for Neville, who stopped dancing, and ran out of the room. Lucius followed, the rest of the death eaters close behind him. Tonks pushed Harry and Neville into the spinning room.  
  
"Be quick Harry, don't stop for anyone, and get to the atrium. Professor Dumbledore will join you soon. The fountain will help you if you need it."  
  
"The fountain?" Harry muttered blankly.  
  
"Just go Harry!" Tonks yelled in exasperation, ushering him and Neville through, "and lock the doors behind you." She turned to face Lucius, her wand raised ready.  
  
"Go quickly," he said quietly, "before they catch up."  
  
"What are you doing? Why are you helping me?"  
  
"I'm saving your life and you'll probably find out why sooner or later, I wouldn't worry about it too much," he whispered, gently pushing her through the door.  
  
*  
  
That night, lying in bed, Tonks couldn't stop thinking about Lucius. If he really was that bad a person why did he save her? It certainly wasn't the family ties, because they didn't acknowledge each other as being related.  
  
She opened her eyes, staring in the direction of the ceiling. The room was in darkness. She remembered Lucius' eyes looking at her so intently: as if she was the most interesting, important person in the world. Their beautiful clear-green colour filled her mind, and she couldn't bring herself to think of anything else.  
  
The next few days were spent preparing for the return to school. The atmosphere in Grimmauld Place was extremely subdued. The Weasleys' felt awkward because their words were inadequate. Harry was inconsolable and spent the week locked in his room.  
  
It was a relief when Monday arrived, Hermione could lose herself in her studies, Ron could practice quidditch, and Ginny had Draco to keep her company, thankfully though Ron hadn't discovered they were dating. Only Harry had no one: No Cho, no Dumbledore, who still hadn't made an appearance, and now no Sirius. He boarded the purple Knight bus with a heavy heart.  
  
Lupin's trilby hat and trailing tailcoat had gained a few half- hearted laughs from the Weasleys', but glancing at Harry made them stop straight away. Harry walked to the back of the bus and flopped next to Tonks, who was disguised as a smart businesswoman with neat blonde hair.  
  
"You ok Harry?" She asked discreetly.  
  
"Sure." He answered tersely, turning towards the window.  
  
Tonks wasn't put off. "I know you're not. I'm not trying to be interfering or cruel, but you need to try and let it go, just a little bit. At least try to be a bit happier for their sakes, even if it is just a front." She nodded her head, indicating the Weasleys' who were all sitting in silence, looking dejected.  
  
"It's hard," muttered Harry, a lump forming in his throat. He was about to cry. Great.  
  
"I know," she replied gently, " but your strong and you will stop grieving eventually. It just takes time." Harry nodded as she patted his hand and walked to the front of the bus, where she began to talk to Stan Shunpike. A few minutes later she returned grinning.  
  
"Ah, the power of flirtation and extra money! The next stop is Hogwarts," she announced in a hostess voice, pinching her nose, "so we should be there soon." A loud bang ensued as she finished her sentence. 


	2. The Three Broomsticks

Chapter Two  
  
After Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny had been escorted right up to the School gates, Tonks and Lupin said goodbye to each other and went their separate ways. Lupin was apparating back to London, and Tonks was flying. She needed something to change the monotony of apparating there, arriving in a second. Also, she'd just bought a new broom and wanted to try it out.  
  
Tonks entered The Three Broomsticks and ordered a Firewhisky, the journey on the Knight Bus had made her thirsty. She sat down in a secluded corner and began sipping her drink.  
"Mind if I join you?"  
Caught off-guard, she smiled as she looked up.  
"No, not at -" She stopped abruptly when she realized who it was. Lucius Malfoy's handsome face grinned down at her. Tonks blinked as she finished her sentence, "-all."  
"How are you feeling after- well, I mean, are you ok?" He asked, concern clearly underlining his voice.  
Tonks was surprised. Why does he care? She found herself wondering.  
"Oh yes, I'm perfectly fine. This has been the best week of my life." She answered sarcastically. Lucius reached for her hand across the table and grasped it tightly.  
"I'm sorry about what happened, you know. Really sorry. I know that you don't believe me, I wouldn't believe myself, but I didn't intend on being, staying a deatheater. At heart I'm a coward, scared of Him and what he would do if I defied him. I would love to say no, but I'd be dead before I could."  
"You wouldn't, you'd have protection." She said, looking up at him.  
"What, like Sirius and Cedric had?" He retorted scornfully. "He's more powerful than you estimate you know, he's willful and conniving. Do you think that I could really escape him?"  
Tonks sighed. She could see his point.  
"But you could be an informer, a spy for us."  
  
"I could, but who would trust me now. It's too late Tonks." He said quietly, resigned to the fact that he would never be free.  
Tonks felt awful. She could see the predicament that he was in, but couldn't see anyway of solving it. She finished her drink and noticed that Lucius's was empty too.  
"Do you want another, Lucius?" He looked up, her saying his name so softly had sent a shiver down his spine. He was greated by a warm smile. "No thank you, I have to be going. You know how it is, things to do, people to see. How are you getting back?"  
"I'm flying." Tonks replied cautiously. This could just be a set-up couldn't it, to get information out of her about the Order of the Phoenix.  
"I am too. London, I presume?"  
"What makes you think-"  
"That's where I live." He interrupted, holding the door open for her to go out.  
"What's that got to do with me, may I ask?"  
"You're coming for dinner," he grinned cheekily.  
"Since when?" she asked, with a mischievous glint in her eyes.  
"You will?" Lucius looked surprised.  
"If you want me to."  
Her playful expression changed to a serious one. Lucius turned and faced her; stepping closer he put an arm around her waist, and drew her in, bending his head expectantly. Tonks hesitated for a moment, then let go all fears and inhibitions as she turned up her face to receive his passionate kiss.  
"Tonks?" Lucius whispered after they had finally let go of each other.  
"Yes?" she inquired gently, moving a lock of his white-blond hair out of his eyes.  
"I haven't got a broom." He smiled sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders. Tonks giggled, playfully digging him in the ribs.  
"I guess you'll have to share mine," she answered, giving him a meaningful look. 


	3. Explanations

Chapter 3  
  
The journey took about half an hour on Tonks' Comet Two Sixty. Lucius was steering, with Tonks sat at the back of him. She had her arms around his waist and was holding on tightly, resting her head on his shoulder. She breathed in, trying to identify his pleasant smell. It was.fresh and clean, she decided, unable to place the familiar smell.  
At last they reached the Malfoys' mansion. As soon as the broom touched the ground three house elves scurried out of the house: one took the broomstick, and the other two carried Lucius and Tonks' cloaks, handing them on a Medusa headed stand that stood in the hall.  
Tonks smiled inwardly at the house elves' eagerness to please their master, it reminded her of Hermione's S.P.E.W. Hermione would certainly want to help these poor elves she thought in shock as she saw Lucius kick one of them into the kitchen. He turned round and smiled warmly, taking her by the hand. Tonk's was led into a dining room dimly lit by candles and a roaring fire in a marble fireplace.  
"Who's home?" she asked frowning, noticing that three places were already set. "No-one but us, my servants just feel it necessary to set the table for us all, whether we're here or not." He shot the nearest house elf a withering look and flicked his hand at him. The house elf bowed so low that he nearly fell over, then turned and fled from the room.  
Lucius pulled out a chair at the right hand side of the head of the table and motioned to her to sit down. She complied reluctantly, a thought coming to her mind.  
"Where's your wife?" This man, with whom she was happily dining with, had a family. Did she really want to be the one that is responsible for breaking it up? Not to mention the hell that would break loose when her friends had learned that she was falling for a Malfoy.  
"She has passed."  
"What?" To Tonks' knowledge, Narcissa was still alive, not that she kept contact with or cared about her aunt. Her AUNT! Eugh, Lucius was her Uncle! She stood hastily, dropping the napkin from her knee onto the plate.  
"What- where are you going?"  
"I'm not, I can't do this, you're my uncle for Christ's sake!" Tonks' gasped.  
"I'm not and you know it. Your family don't even aknowledge your existence, you've been disowned, remember? And besides, all pure blood families are inter-related, but it doesn't bother anyone. Narcissa died of a broken heart, she found out that Draco was dating a Weasley. She just couldn't bear the embarrassment of it all."  
"And what about you?" Tonks' shot the question at him after a moment of uncomfortable silence.  
"I haven't spoken to him."  
"Because of what happened, or because you haven't seen him?"  
"Both." He answered tersely. "Look Tonks, we both have different lifestyles, different social groups. I'm not going to let it interfere with us, and I'm not going to talk about yours incessantly, forever going on about how much I dislike them."  
Partially satisfied, Tonks sat down.  
"Are you upset?" She asked eventually.  
"What about?"  
"Your wife's death."  
"We had grown apart. I still loved her as a person, but I wasn't in love with her anymore. I miss her, but I moved on long before she died." He suddenly looked downcast. Tonks could tell that her death had affected him more than he had said. She took hold of his hand.  
"I'll look after you," she whispered, leaning over and kissing him softly on the lips.  
"but I thought -"  
"Shh." Tonks leant over and kissed him deeply. 


	4. An Invitation

Chapter 4  
  
After Tonks had left in the morning, Lucius sat alone, deep in thought. He had ordered the elves out of the house so that he wouldn't be disturbed. The flames that he was staring into kept shifting into Tonks' face. He couldn't rid her image, her voice or her sweet fragrance from his mind.  
He sighed and changed the arm that he was leaning on. Last night was so special, how can I tell her? He thought miserably. She'll hate me, and. I love her. This realization, instead of making him happier, only depressed him even further. How can I tell her? How? He beat his fist on the table angrily. How could Voldemort do this to him, surely he had known that this would happen. I'll tell he, he decided. Then if I die, at least she will know the truth.  
"Yes! That's what I'll do," he said resolutely.  
*  
  
Tonks woke suddenly on Wednesday morning. Something had disturbed her peaceful sleep by tapping. She sat up in bed and surveyed the room, her eyes falling on a large, beautiful Eagle Owl. Lucius! Tonks whipped off the covers and swung out of bed eagerly. She opened the window and held it wide open, motioning to the owl to come in. He stepped in proudly, and stood steadily as she took the scroll.  
  
My dearest Tonks, would you please accompany me for dinner on Friday evening. Be here at seven, and please come because I have something extremely important to tell you.  
Yours faithfully, Lucius  
  
Two days! Tonks smiled happily. I think I love him, she thought to herself. She ran to her wardrobe and looked inside critically. What was she going to wear?  
After what seemed hours of rummaging through her collection of clothes, Tonks finally pulled out a long black figure hugging dress with a plunging neckline and flared arms. She put it on, and it sparkled in the sun that shone through the bedroom window.  
The doorbell rang as she stood contemplating how to have her hair. Brought out of her daydream she jumped, and then ran downstairs, forgetting about her dress.  
"Hi Remus." She said brightly, stepping aside to let him pass.  
"Hey Tonks, you're happy this morning. Something good happened?"  
"Er, not really, I just had a good sleep for a change." She mumbled. "Anyway, what brings you here so early?" She said, quickly trying to change the subject.  
"Early? Tonks, it's one in the afternoon." He said in surprise.  
Three hours! She hadn't realized that she had been looking for something to wear for that long. Lupin came in and sat down, looking at her properly for the first time.  
" Where in the name of Merlin are you planning to go, dressed like that?" he asked. "I didn't think that you liked me that much," he added laughing.  
"Shut up! I was just going through all of my robes, seeing if they still fit or not. It's about time I cleaned this place up." Tonks improvised quickly, motioning to all of the rubbish that littered the front room. "You caught me before I could get changed."  
"Oh right." Lupin said, satisfied with her response. "I'm here anyway to tell you that there's a meeting for the Order on Friday."  
Tonks' face fell. "Friday? This Friday?"  
"Yes. Why, is that a problem? Remus asked, noticing her expression. "You have something planned?"  
Tonks nodded. "What time's the meeting?"  
"Five. It should be over by about sevenish." Tonks sighed in relief. She would only be slightly late for dinner with Lucius.  
"Ok. Would you like a drink?" She asked, standing up.  
"Yes please. Something quite warming because I'm freezing."  
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Incendio." She pointed at the fireplace which burst into cherrful flames. "I'll get you a firewhisky."  
She's hiding something, Lupin thought as he watched her make her way through the messy kitchen. She had a dazed look on her face.  
"Have you had good news or something?" He asked when she had returned a few minutes later.  
"Me? No, why?" she looked at him enquiringly, alook of feigned innocence on her flushed face.  
"You just seem distracted, that's all. You sure your not hiding anything?"  
Tonks smiled. "I'm sure." 


	5. Fisticuffs and Confessions

Right, the disclaimer that I'm righting now counts for this chapter and the previous four. This has been done so many times, so I'll make it different. I hereby declare that none of the following characters belong to, or are licensed to me. Let's face it, if they did I wouldn't have time to write fanfics because I would be swamped with too many fan letters saying how much they love my Harry Potter stories, so anyway.  
  
A/N: Just like to thank Phantom Quill and DeeDee the Smarmy, who are my main REVIEWers, get the hint! And also mucho love and hugs to my Beta and very strange many-named friend, Hank/Riffinton/Beaner whatever.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
The meeting ran later than was expected. Tonks was the first to leave, hastily apparating back to her house to change. When she had her dress on, she screwed up her face in a painful concentration, and a few seconds later her blue hair turned into glossy, black curls. Her mouth open wide, she outlined her eyes with kohl and mascara, before finally applying a dark red lipstick.  
Tonks eyed her reflection in the mirror. Perfect! She thought happily. She grabbed her cloak and blew the mirror a kiss as she swung it around her shoulders.  
"Knock 'im dead darlin'," it called as she apparated from the room.  
*  
  
Tonks arrived at Lucius' at half seven. As she glanced up at the mansion her stomach clenched with anticipation. She strode up to the door and knocked before she could change her mind. It was answered at once by one of his house elves, who took her cloak and stood aside to let her pass, head lowered.  
"Lucius, are you home?" she called, walking cautiously into the hall. After several minutes had passed bringing no answer, Tonks began to feel more nervous. Eventually she heard footsteps, and drawing her wand, she spun around.  
"It's lovely to see you too," Lucius grined, stepping up to her and kissing her lightly on the lips. Tonks pulled him closer and ran her fingers through his sleek, blond hair. After they had parted, Luicus took her hand and led her through to the dining room.  
"I didn't think that you would come," he said conversationally, when they had settled down to their first course. Tonks swallowed her mouthful of soup.  
"I was at a-" she swallowed again, "shop, I couldn't find anything to wear. I'm sorry." She smiled apologetically.  
"Well, you certainly found something," he smiled, looking at her appraisingly. Tonks finished her soup and placed the spoon into the bowl. She wasn't sure if she wanted know, but she had to ask.  
"You said in your letter that you wanted to speak to me about something." She had a sneaking suspicion that he was going to break off their relationship, and she began to pay with her napkin nervously.  
"Yes," he answered reluctantly. "This is really hard, and you probably won't want to stay with me once you know, but I have to tell you."  
"Go on," Tonks encouraged gently.  
"I, I haven't been honest with you-"  
"She isn't dead! I've been having an affair with a married man! Oh, Merlin's beard! What will she-"  
"No, Tonks," Lucius interrupted, "you've got it all wrong. She is dead, but it isn't about Narcissa that I lied. It's about us." Tonks opened her mouth to protest. "No, please let me finish, it's hard enough as it is.  
"Voldemort wanted me to get close to someone in the Order. When I saw you I just knew that we'd connect, so I chose you. I acted nice at first, just to get close to you, but-"  
"please don't," she looked down at him coldly. "It's all been a lie, hasn't it?" She gasped, tears filling her eyes.  
"No, you don't under-" Lucius cried desperately.  
"I do understand. Perfectly in fact. I love you! How could you- eugh!" She groaned in disgust, kicking bck her chair, which toppled over. "My mother always said that I was a fool, how right she was," she said bitterly. Another thought occurred to her, "you kissed me, we had- how could you do that?"  
"Because it wasn't an act, not after I got to know you."  
"Don't give me any of that bullshit!" she retorted hotly, turning away so that he couldn't see her tears.  
"I love you Tonks, why can't you see?" He cried desperately. "I am so, so, sorry, and I'm going to tell him that I can't do it."  
Tonks forgot her anger. "But he'll kill you!"  
"I don't care, I just want to be with you."  
"What, as a ghost?" she asked sarcastically.  
"No, I-" he rested his head on his arms. "I don't see how I can get out of it. What have I done Tonks? What can I do?" He finally raised his head, giving her a sad look. Tonks walked up to him and sat on his knee, kissing him deeply.  
"We could fake your death," she suggested.  
"He'd know." Lucius replied glumly.  
"We could-" Tonks fell silent, her mind empty. After half an hour of silence, she jumped up excitedly.  
"What if we just carried on?"  
"What?" Lucius looked at her blankly.  
"Well, I could give you false information." Comprehension dawned on his face, and a smile lit it up. Then his face fell.  
"He'd know."  
"We could get Dumbledore's help."  
"I don't think that he would help me, think of all the trouble that I've caused for him and the school." He sighed, "it's useless Tonks."  
"NO!" Tonks slammed her fist down on the table, making Lucius jump. "Dumbledore will help us. If you're really telling the truth." She looked at him, searching his pale face with her hazel eyes.  
"I am." 


	6. Prophecies

Disclaimer: God these get soo boring. Well, yeah, all the Harry Potter books belong to me, I bought them from Waterstone's when they were released... The story plot belongs to me, the characters don't, or anything else that you might recognise.  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Harry woke with a start. The nightmare that he had just had was fading quickly, but he could still recall standing alone: the people who cared about him refusing to help. He suppressed a shudder. That won't happen, he told himself firmly, turning over in bed. After an half hour of sleeplessness he got out of bed and padded to the common room, planning to complete the three foot long essay that Snape had set in the previous lesson.  
"Hello Harry." A quiet voice addressed him, making him jump and spin simultaneously, in order to face the speaker. He saw the tall, thin, familiar figure of Professor Dumbledore in the dim light of the glowing embers.  
"Sir," Harry replied stiffly with an inclination of his head. Dumbledore hadn't spoken to him since last June, and he was nursing bitter feelings towards the headmaster who'd offered no help and support when it was most needed.  
"Harry, sit down, please."  
Harry sat down slowly, averting his eyes from Dumbledore. Just seeing his calm face made Harry seethe with anger.  
"I know that I haven't to you lately-" Harry snorted and rolled his eyes. Lately? He thought bitterly, he hasn't spoken to me since last June "Yes Harry, you're probably right-" Harry blinked, he hadn't spoken out loud, so how did Dumbledore know what he was thinking? "I haven't spoken to you or even acknowledged you for nearly a year, and for that I apologize." He proceeded calmly. Harry slumped in his chair, turning to look at the ashes in the fire rather than at Professor Dumbldore's face. He breathed deeply and counted to ten, trying fruitlessly to crush the rage that was coursing through his body.  
"I have, however come to the conclusion that you are ready now, have been ready for many years that is to say- to know what needs to be known. His fingers met in a steeple which he rested his head on. He looked at Harry with tired blue eyes. Harry smiled spitefully, noticing with small satisfaction that Dumbledore looked much older than he had done previously.  
"You see Harry, the Prophecy that Voldemort wanted was about you both, not just him."  
Harry sighed in exasperation. "I already knew that." He said with forced calmness.  
"look." Dumbledore stood and picked up something at the foot of his chair. The pensieve. He placed the tip of his wand against his temple for a few seconds. When he withdrew it he pulled with it some silvery, gossamer- like threads of what, Harry know knew to be, memories.  
They swirled around in the pensieve, never in the same pattern, like billowing smoke. Dumbledore tapped the side of it, and a figure rose out. A gasp escaped from Harry as he realised who it was. Professor Trelawny, a slightly younger version of her, peered out at her with a vague expression on her face.  
"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not...and either must die at the hands of the other for neither can live while the other survives....The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...." Came the harsh, hoarse tones that Harry had heard her use only once before, when she had made the prophecy about Voldemort's return.  
"Me?" Harry whispered.  
"It could have been either you or Neville Longbottom, but Harry," he said quietly, "it was you that he marked as an equal."  
"But,-why me? How do you know?" It could be a mistake. You could have made a mistake."  
"I'm afraid Harry, that there is no doubt. Voldemort went after you, not Neville. Marked you as his equal, not Neville."  
"But how do you know?"  
"Harry, ha killed your parents, tried to kill you. Not Neville. It's obvious that it was you that he wanted out of the way, before you got the chance to do any damage to what he had accomplished. But, even as a baby you were a match for him. Indeed, there is no doubt at all." Dumbledore returned gently.  
"So-" Harry swallowed, "one of us has to die." It wasn't a question.  
Dumbledore rubbed his forehead, clearly showing his distress. "Harry I'm so sorry. That's the reason that I didn't want to tell you. I thought that it was too great a burden for a young person to carry."  
Harry looked at Dumbledore, numbly registering the tear that rolled down his wrinkled cheek. He shifted uncomfortably, trying to make sense of the tumult of thoughts that were clogging his mind. One us have to die. And if it is me that does, he'll be here forever, with no one to stop him. Harry's brain told him over and over again. No wonder Dumbledore hadn't wanted to tell him.  
  
A/N: sorry that was so long. It wasn't anything to do with Lucius or Tonks either, though you'll see why in the next chapter. Oh, and I put a direct quote from one of the books, which again,as you well know, doesn't belong to me. 


End file.
